Published by Ruby Lee ('12) and Nat Motulsky ('13) High school is a time for finding one’s identity. Part of that search for identity is looking for a partner. From childhood, we have all been conditioned to believe that we need to find a significant other. High school is a hormonal cesspool of urges and desires, which only intensifies the want (and what some see as need) to find a partner. As high school students embark on this quest for satisfaction, however, dissatisfaction and frustration take over. We believe that these feelings of frustration are a result of miscommunication, as men and women naturally have very different communication strategies.
Studies show that on average, women speak about 20,000 words a day, while, in comparison, men only speak 7,000. This indicates that women speak almost three times the amount of words that a man does every day. “Sometimes you just can’t tell what their motives are,” says senior Ruby Lee, a victim of miscommunication among men. Ruby’s feelings are partially due to the briefness of male communication that leave many teenagers like Ruby irritated. Conversely, guys become frustrated with the emotional neediness and excessive effusion of emotions of girls. Girls tend to over-share every feeling to the point of constricting their male counterpart. These conflicting communication strategies can lead to anger and frustration on both sides.
Although the increasing number of ways to communicate has made it easier for students to stay connected and young love to flourish, a new level of confusion has emerged. One question many girls find themselves pondering is: “If he sends me a one word text, does that mean he’s not interested, or is he just being a guy?” Because women use more words to communicate, they are often put off by a guy’s one word answer. Similarly, guys are apprehensive about long texts they receive from girls and ask themselves, “Why is she using so many words?” Though both girls and boys have similar end goals (trying to find their perfect match) the different strategies of communication used by each gender prevent the success of a potential love.
In the cyber world, Facebook presents itself as another source of miscommunication. On Facebook, people can comment, like, and share what is on their minds. Boys and girls tend to be more confident online because it is less personal, causing people to say things they might not say in “real life” or misinterpret the meaning of the actions of others. “If she likes my comment, does that mean she’s into me?” Junior Preston DeGarmo asks.
Trying to find your one true love is hard; the path to happiness is confusing, long, and tumultuous; however, the key is communication. The different strategies used in communication by guys and girls are something that will never change; so, don’t try to fight it, and just go with the flow. We wish you luck on your adventure and hope for success in your quest.